It is vitally important to note that the term 'crazy' is used colloquially for the purpose of this article to describe a partner who is acting in an unhealthy manner with regards to your relationship, who perhaps scares you or is a potential threat to your physical or mental well-being. There is no medical or psychoanalytical basis here to actually diagnose someone as mentally ill; simply heed the following 10 signs when deciding whether her actions are jeopardizing your relationship or creating an unhealthy environment for either of you.
1. Calls/Texts Constantly
When she calls or texts you, it should most acceptably be proportionate to your own efforts in contacting her. In any new relationship, it can be exciting and fun to be in frequent contact with one another since you are still getting to know each other. It becomes a problem when missing a call or text leads to multiple missed calls, ill-tempered voicemails, and multiple text messages, within an unreasonably short period of time, demanding to know where you are and why you are not answering, etc. When you do finally get a chance to return her messages, she may become outwardly hostile towards you or accuse you of ignoring or deceiving her. This may be due to an underlying personal insecurity -- perhaps due to past experience with an untrustworthy ex or even instability-- but it is no excuse for this type of obsessive, immature and erratic behavior, especially if you have done nothing to compromise your trustworthiness.
2. Extreme Mood Swings
You admire her for her zest for life and her radiating positivity, but suddenly she is a tearful mess or losing her patience and screaming over obviously trivial matters. Fluctuations in hormones, such as estrogen, do make some women more prone to mood-swings but if it becomes a problem where she is constantly shifting gears from one extreme to the next or you constantly feel as if you are walking on eggshells out of uncertainty due to her complete unpredictability, you can assure yourself that you are not a healthy relationship and it would be in your best interest to remove yourself from that environment.
3. Public Confrontation
Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys a scene. If you are out in public and she starts yelling at you, aggressively instigating an argument, crying out of control, or physically/verbally insulting you, this is completely unacceptable behavior (in private too, actually!). Mature, healthy relationships require patience and respect. If she embarrasses herself and you in this way, it is likely time you both parted ways.
4. Past Relationship Stories
When starting a new relationship, it’s practically inevitable that the topic of past relationships will come up. Be sure to listen carefully to what she has to say about hers. Were any or all of her exes abusive toward her (or vice versa), themselves (substance abuse), or all too eager to find another partner? These examples from her past could be strong indicators of her inability to function in a/as part of a healthy relationship. People can learn from past mistakes and grow, but it doesn’t always work out that way as many are downright resistant to change. Tread carefully.
5. Lying
Sometimes we lie to avoid hurting feelings or to maintain good rapport but even these ‘good-hearted’ lies, albeit understandable, should never be viewed as acceptable. If you catch her constantly lying to you about everything, even something as simple as certain plans with her friends or perhaps she frequently tells lies to everyone else in her life; how can you trust her at all?
6. Isolation
Does she make an effort to introduce you to her friends? Attend outings or have a social life with and without you? Encourage you to make other plans without her involvement (a night out with the guys)? These are all healthy aspects of a balanced relationship. If she always wants to stay inside alone with you, gets irritated when you socialize with others or make plans, or expects you to spend every waking moment with her, this is a sign of extreme possessiveness. Remember, nobody has a right to isolate you from living your own life.
7. Demands
In relationships, there are reasonable requests and then there are unacceptable demands, such as needing to know your passwords for email, social networking etc. Trust is a necessary factor in any healthy relationship. Demands for any of your personal information without just cause can be related to her own inability to trust or her struggle with anxiety or insecurities.This is an infringement on your privacy and your individual human rights. Anyone who cares for you and your overall well-being would not make such demands.
8. Jealousy
A little jealousy can be flattering and reaffirm the fact that you are appreciated. On the other hand, extensive jealous, such as feeling threatened by every single woman who crosses your line of vision, is unacceptable. Some women even go to the extremes of making constant unfounded accusations of cheating, and may not even ‘allow’ their partners to hang out with friends (male or female). In addition these extremists may even keeps tabs on your every move by checking phone records, receipts etc. This is crazier still when she has nothing to base her insecurities off of; you have never given her a reason not to trust you, in fact you incessantly reassure her of your loyalty to her.
9. Critical/Belittling
A healthy relationship should include mutual respect and support of each other’s life goals and ultimate happiness, whatever that may include. If she is constantly belittling your ideas or criticizing you in any way, this may be coming from a place of major insecurity or anxiety. Instead of risking your acknowledgement of her own faults, she is keeping you distracted by pointing out all of your own, whether they are true or downright wrong and rude. It’s crazy for her to deliberately discourage you just because she is not comfortable with herself or unable to properly handle such emotions.
10. Hateful
Does she spout off hateful (perhaps judgmental) comments regarding random strangers? How about those close to her, more specifically, her friends and family or even YOUR family? If you notice that she doesn’t have many good relationships in her life and on top of that, rarely finds something nice to say about the people involved, you may want to reconsider your relationship. this is sign that she will have difficulty positively contributing to a healthy relationships.
Source: shavemagazine.com
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